When Referrals Hide From You
selling from the heart
Here's a dream scenario you've got a raving fan client who has co-workers who need the same help you gave him.
He offers to introduce you to them and suggest they work with you. Nice!
In one of my Spiritual Selling courses Donald (not his true name)had just this amazing opportunity. He described it like this "My client introduced me by e-mail to his colleagues. I then sent a mail to them saying if I did not hear from them I'd chase up with a phone call next week. The next week came and I didn't wish to make the calls. I felt nervous and concerned. I kept telling myself it was merely a conversation and eventually I pushed myself to make the calls leaving 2 voicemails. What is wrong with me? Why was it so hard
to make those calls?"
Painful, eh? What's worse he never heard back from either referral. But here's why he should have been uncomfortable.
There's been no evidence in the slightest that these 2 referrals are either looking for help or wish to be contacted.
In Sacred Selling I explain that sales doesn't exist in a vacuum.
The sales conversation is preceded by the steps of developing a relationship of trust.
Without the trust and connection you can't have a real sales conversation.
Our customer was truly fighting with self-judgment over making those calls but here's the thing-- he should've struggled.
A long way from being negative self-talk his heart was enlightening him the situation didn't feel right.
Donald pushed through it and called anyhow and naturally it was not a tragedy. But he didn't get the clients either.
How do you tell whether or not it's negative self-talk you need to get over or a message from within asking you to be suitably cautious?
In a situation like this ask two questions:
First question: Has the individual in question expressed any need for help in the area you help with?
Second question: Has the person in question expressed any need to work with you particularly?
If you put yourself in Donald's shoes see the difference between reaching out to someone who has voiced no interest in what you do or in speaking to you vs picking up the phone to call someone that both wants what you offer and wants to talk with you. Huge difference.
I bet Donald would not have had any difficulty calling either of his referrals in the second situation. Our customers need education.
Unless they deal with plenty of referrals themselves they don't know how to make a beneficial introduction. To do so just takes one little extra step on the side of your customer.
That step? To reach out to the people he wants to refer and ask them the 2 questions.
Here is what it could sound like "Hey I don't know if you know I worked with Donald all last year and he helped me a lot in the following techniques x,y, z. And from our latest talks I know you are having some of the same challenges I had the year before. I would love for you to have the kind of results I am getting. Is that
something you need? Are you wanting me to introduce you to Donald so you can have a dialogue? He's a really nice guy. He will not pressure you or try to sell you he'll just ask questions listen and tell you if he thinks that he can help you."
If he then hears a Yes from his co-worker then the introduction is going to be MUCH more effective.
Let me highlight what was in that introduction. Then you can ask your clients to say the same things to any referrals.
There are 3 elements in a pre-referral recommendation His own experience and results working with Donald. Empathy for the difficulties he sees his associates having and his wish for them to be successful.
An outline of what Donald is like and what was involved with being introduced.
If you educate your clients to express these 3 items to potential referrals and get authorization from them to get introduced you'll see a much higher proportion of referrals basically landing.
And you will not spend time uncomfortably chasing folk who don't want to chat with you. And would that not be a relief?